How to apply positive self-talk and the self-hypnotic process to improve your personality
Why would I want to use positive self-talk to improve my personality? I like who I am!
If you like and are comfortable with who you are, then chances are you do not need to work very hard at becoming a more appealing and charismatic personality. People who are most comfortable in their own skin are not the people who seek to improve on or alter their personalities.
Rather, it is those people who are shy, retiring or may be insecure in their own identities that are most likely to want to change something about themselves to make them somehow more appealing to those around them, not realizing that very often the person others see them as is merely a reflection of how they project themselves.
People who are less comfortable with who they are often reflect this, whether consciously or unconsciously, in the way that they interact with other people. If they are less outgoing and more retiring, what is in fact just a shy or insecure nature may even be seen as snobbish, cold, or uninterested in those around them.
These people are often misunderstood because they are unconsciously projecting an image of themselves that, while not accurate of their true selves, is really a reflection of who they believe other people think they are. Since other people will only reinforce this perception by reacting to their own misunderstandings of shy people, the shy person then becomes even more withdrawn, creating a truly unhappy cycle. It is these people and not those who are confident in themselves and comfortable and happy with whom they are as people, who are most likely to want to change or improve their personality.
How can positive self-talk help improve a person’s personality?
While positive self-talk will not actually change somebody’s personality, it can be sued to change that person’s perception of him or herself and thereby alter the way in which they project themselves to others, altering in turn the way that others perceive them.
By reassuring themselves of their own attractiveness as people and the desirability of their own company, normally shy and retiring people can discover newfound confidence that they will then project to the world at large. It is much the same effect as is had when a friend gives us a sincere compliment about some aspect of our character; not only are we pleased to hear this, but we become more aware of this good quality and make an unconscious effort to put it forward more.
What sorts of things should people say to achieve this change in their personalities?
People should begin and end by reinforcing their own worth as human beings. It can be enormously helpful to make a list of all the kind of things you have said in the past concerning your personalities.
It can also be helpful to include a few compliments on physical appearance as well, since these also make us feel good and project confidence, but they should not be the focus of the self-talk, as physical attributes can change quite rapidly and should never be the focus of our evaluation of our own worth.
By repeating compliments other have given us we are able to remind ourselves that other people have seen our worth as well, and have noticed it enough to remark on it to us directly.
Subjects should then build on the list of compliments with ideas of their own. They might want to list other admirable attributes they have that they want people to notice more, and tell themselves that they will begin to display these good qualities to others. As they reinforce their own value as humans, they will acquire an increased confidence in themselves that will not only be noticed by those around them, but also be reflected in the behavior of others toward the subject, turning a once-vicious cycle into a beneficial one.