Many relationships would be saved if the partners had listened to each other. Many relationships would have been broken quite early if the partners had listened? And that would have been good. What use is a relationship that only prolongs the pain?
What is listening? Why not quiz yourself about your listening and find out? Let me interrupt you for a second and ask you-are you reading this without any distraction? Is your mind totally focused on what you are reading? Are you not thinking of anything else? Are you drawing your own conclusions before finishing reading? Are you peaceful and reflecting upon what is being said and why? Sadly, this is not true for a large majority and that is our failure.
Most of us get the hint about what is going on in our partners mind before the final break down occurs. But we do not listen to that. We are either busy arguing or busy convincing. We are not busy listening. How to listen to your partner so that you realize what is being said? I will suggest something very simple but very effective that will save you tremendous pain.
When your partner is telling you something that you totally disagree with, do not interrupt. Keep on listening. Only listen and pay attention to their body language. After the conversation is over, take a piece of paper and write down what was said. Be very careful. Now read what you wrote carefully. Pay attention to every word. Draw your meaning at this stage. If at this stage you feel that your partner would not allow the relationship to proceed peacefully, break it. Before breaking the relationship, tell your partner about their point of view and how you would never be able to agree with that. Why prolong the pain? Let it end. Quiz yourself about your listening. It will pay you huge dividends.