Our romantic relationships have the potential to bring us great happiness but can also be the source of great pain and suffering. At the start of a relationship we fall ‘head over heals’ in love and it seems that our dream has come true. Unfortunately these joyous feelings can fade and then we struggle to feel love for our partner. So how can we re-discover those wonderful feelings that we experienced at the start of the relationships?
Here are ten things you can do that will improve your relationship and will allow you to fall in love with your partner all over again!
1. Relationship difficulties may be painful but they represent the best chance you and your partner have to heal your insecurities and build a better relationship. Within each problem is an issue that both of you have, that is driving you apart – try to see problems as opportunities for improving the relationship. The trick is to find out what the emotional issue is at the heart of the problem.
2. Whenever you feel emotional pain in a relationship, resist the temptation to move away from your partner. This is the very time you need each other. Take courage and move towards your partner both physically and emotionally.
3. Communication about feelings and fears is what heals relationships. Always make this your objective. Try to find out what your partner is feeling. Expressing your own feelings with honesty and sensitivity will encourage your partner to do the same. Remember even bad behaviour is a form of communication!
4. Nobody can make you feeling anything that you are not already feeling subconsciously. It is hidden and unhealed emotional pain that is triggered by your partner’s behaviour. Be willing to gain emotional awareness, take responsibility and heal these insecurities. As Ghandi said – ‘be the change you want to see in the world” – the same applies in our relationships.
5. Appreciate your partner for all their strengths, gifts and beauty – tell them and show them how much you love them. This is what you did when you fell in love with them, and it will work throughout your relationship. There is no reason that the ‘Honeymoon’ stage of a relationship cannot last forever.
6. If you feel let down by your partner or feel that they are not giving you something important in the relationship, give them exactly the thing you are lacking. Almost magically they will then give you the same thing back!
7. Sex can be a beautiful celebration of love in a relationship – this is why we call it making love! Allow sex to move from a purely physical experience to one that is full of shared emotion – pour love into your partner as you have sex and make strong eye contact. If you have a spiritual belief, you can take sex to the highest Tantric level of physical, emotional and spiritual connection, where it feel like you become one with your partner.
8. If you have had a row, apologise for any of your own bad behaviour and recognise that your partner will also be feeling bad. Move towards them, forgive and re-connect as soon as you can. Start the meaningful communication about what lies at the heart of the argument.
9. If you are having really big problems in your relationship and you believe in a higher or spiritual power, then ask for help and guidance. In this way you will find the inspiration to work through the most tragic or painful situations. If you do not have a spiritual or religious belief, ask for help from your higher or intuitive mind.
10. Relationships fail because we allow a distance to appear between us and our partner. What we give in a relationship is what we receive. How much are you unconditionally giving to your partner? Give to your partner without any expectation of receiving and you will soon find that the joy and love returns to the relationship.