Life Coach Advice
As an expert in self development, I can tell you that there isn’t a person I have met yet that isn’t successful. In fact, there isn’t a person who is not successful. Not only are you successful, but everyone you know and don’t know are successful as well. You question this? That is natural. After all, you may not feel all that successful and at the very least, you don’t consider most people you have known or seen successful.
Yet, I still insist that everyone is successful no matter who they are and what they are doing. That is, without question, a fact. The question is not whether or not a person is successful; rather what they are being successful at.
Remove the idea that success means that there is a positive outcome. Think more about success as the ability to follow through with behavior to produce any outcome. A definition of success is “to end up with the intended result.” Nothing is ever achieved, good or bad, without successful behavior.
The results in our lives (be they positive or negative) take time to realize. No one walks into a gym and gets in shape the same day. Getting in shape requires that you develop successful behavior towards the result of being in shape. First, the person makes a choice, either on a conscious or unconscious basis, which internalizes the decision to get in shape. Next, the person follows through with the behavior, works out, and eats correctly so that over time the result of being in shape is realized.
We consider the behavior of getting in shape and producing that result a success. Conversely, the same is true about negative results. It takes successful behavior to produce a negative outcome. Just as getting in shape takes time, an alcoholic does not become addicted the first time he or she has a drink. They internalize a decision either on a conscious or unconscious level and follow through with consistent behavior that successfully results in alcoholism.
Therefore, whether you are making money or not, either is a result of your successful behavior. If you are in shape or overweight, both are successes. Whether you have a good or a bad relationship, a job you like or not, A’s or F’s in school, everything is a result of the choices you are making and each is a success in that regard.
The importance of recognizing both your positive and negative results as successes means that you recognize that you do have the ability and power to produce results through successful behavior. What this also means is that you know how to be successful. The problem is not your inability to be successful, but rather the choices you make in what you decide to be successful towards.
This means that you do not need to learn how to be successful. You need to learn how to make different choices and then follow through with the successful behavior you already know. Interestingly enough this applies equally to negative and positive behavior. The most successful people you can think of in business, entertainment or other, often are not flourishing in other areas of their lives. One can have isolated success yet maintain a very unhappy or dissatisfied life.
I often challenge people to decide to mirror their positive successful behavior in all areas of their lives creating what I call a balanced successful life. You can achieve this through recognizing your successful behavior and working towards positive outcomes and self-development. The guidance of a proper self development program can work as a roadmap to the life you want to create.
I like to over simplify the idea of success and say that if you can put on a pair of shoes, then you are successful. In order to put on a pair of shoes a person has to first make a decision to do so, select the shoes they wish to put on then follow through with the behavior to put on the shoes. Once the shoes are on, that person has produced a success. The question now is what shoes are you successfully deciding to walk through your life in? The truth is you can wear any shoes you choose!
