I am sure that I am not alone in the fact that I have a large army of demons in my head. These demons are always talking to me and trying to advise me about how to react to different situations. For many years I listened and took their advice, these years were not exactly happy ones and I have now come to realise that these demons are not my friends but are actually my enemy.
I had many issues in my life that had a negative affect on my levels of self-esteem. The demons used these issues to get to me and to play their mind games. For this article, I am going to describe my stuttering demons and how I eventually destroyed them. The advice can be used for whatever type of demon you may have.
At the age of four, I developed a stutter which would continue to affect my speech for the next eighteen years of my life. I was aware of what I could and could not say and was also aware of the social situations in which I was more likely to stutter.
If I was asked a question by for example a friend, I would think of the answer but before I would have a chance to say it, a voice would appear. This voice or what I call my demons would advise me not to say that word and to substitute it for a different word.
If I was invited out to say a party, my demons would advise me not to go, as there would be a lot of people there that I did not know. They would remind me that I found it difficult talking to people which I did not know.
At one stage in my life, I decided that I wanted a career change as I was not happy in the role that I was in. My demons reminded me, that to find alternative employment meant going through the whole interview process again. They continued that I had always struggled to talk fluently at interviews, due to the pressure factor.
I would be able to speak quite well when I was drunk and this is when I would have the confidence to talk to the ladies. On several occasions a woman has given me their phone number and I would tell them that I would call them to arrange a night out. The next day though, when sober, the demons would remind me that making a phone call is what I find the hardest form of speech task and to simply not bother.
As previously stated, I used to listen to these demons and suffice it to say I did not go on my first date until I was eighteen years of age.
Things had to and were about to change. After reading many self-help books, I realised what I had been doing wrong. I should not be listening to these demons, in fact what I need to do is the opposite of what they tell me. Steve don’t go to that party, OK then I will. Steve don’t phone that lady up, OK I will, etc.
I am not trying to say that this is easy to do. I am happy to say that I have eradicated my speech demons and am now fluent, however I do still have demons in other areas of my life. There are not nearly as many as there have been in the past and I am slowly hopefully killing them all.
I treat it like a war. There are many battles and I have to say that I do not win them all. I talk to my demons all the time and especially when they win one of these type battles. I tell them that they may have won this particular battle but that I will win the overall war.
You may possibly think that I am a bit of a freak after reading this article. I frankly do not care, I am happier now than I have ever been.
Good luck in your quest to improve your own life.